3 conversational skills everyone should master
Social event: check. Standing in the corner creepily observing guests hoping someone will come over: check. It doesn’t take a genius to know that staring people into a conversation doesn’t work. Quite the opposite, in fact. But what if you’re just not social? Here’s the thing. Founder of I Will Teach You To Be Rich, Ramit Sethi, has discovered something influencers and easy communicators already know: Being a better conversationalist is a skill. And if it’s a skill, you can learn it. Let’s get started with our best tips for improving your conversational skills!
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1. Write a scriptThe perfect conversation starter depends on the situation and where you find yourself. For some reason, we tend to gravitate to the cliched, “So what do you do?”, which might help you launch a conversation, but it makes people feel ick. Not everyone wants to be defined by their job, more importantly, a social event allows them to step away from their corporate work for a change. So instead of defaulting to the weather or what the other person does to pay the bills, how about getting to know them first? Here are three simple scripts you can use to start a conversation:
Do these seem dead simple? Good. Conversation starters should be simple! Your script doesn’t have to be Shakespearean in nature – it just has to open the door for good conversation to flow. 2. Practice your social skillsIf you’re not great in social situations, you need to practice in order to improve. It may feel uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to get better. It also helps if you have fun with it! No need to take yourself too seriously.
3. Start at small, personal gatheringsBefore running a marathon, it’s worth taking a jog around the neighborhood to make sure your lungs and legs can cope. Then, build up slowly until the full race feels achievable. The same with social skills. Don’t wait until that all-important business networking meetup to test your scripts. Use it on smaller events like the neighborhood cookout, a birthday party, even a small wedding. The key is to build your skills before you jump into a major soiree.
It’s never too late to start building healthy habits. Download Ramit Sethi’s Ultimate Guide to Habits to get started TODAY.
4. Put your script to practiceWhile a script will help you get things started, only practice will enable you to gracefully enter and exit a conversation without being obvious. Or weird. Here are the tools you need to start, join, and hold a conversation. Start a conversationLook for that one person standing by themselves, possibly in the opposite corner. Approach them and introduce yourself. Now, this is the fun part, you’re going to smile and you’re going to use one of those three conversation starters, or even all three. Reminder on the conversation starter scripts:
Just pretend that you’re meeting a potential future friend or colleague. Join a conversation in progressYou might have to eavesdrop a little to get this one right. The best part about eavesdropping at a social event is that it happens to be a great conversation starter. Introduce yourself by saying, “I couldn’t help overhearing that you guys are discussing cause and effect in early childhood development. I’ve just completed this great course, you guys might have heard of it. By the way, I’m John.” Hold the conversation“So how do you know Sally?” you ask. “We met in high school,” they respond. “Oh cool.” you kill the conversation. Questions are a natural way to let the conversation take a different direction and allow you to build rapport with the other party. Even if it includes a little bit of small talk. Not every conversation has to be about big philosophical life questions. Some conversations can be about whether bulletproof coffee has run its course or whether pineapple belongs on a pizza (although that last one may cause spirited debate). But be warned. No one likes feeling interrogated. So tweak your script with a few guidelines:
5. Psyche yourself upYou’ve done about five outfit changes and read just about every book you can on how to improve your conversation skills, yet you’re still sweaty-palmed and dry-mouthed at social gatherings. You bristle like a porcupine when anyone comes near you, even though you actually crave the distraction of conversation. Here’s the thing. You can get those nerves under control. What’s more, you’re not going to need five scotches and a beer to do it.
6. Master your body languageMaster these body language hacks, and you’ll be amazed at how strongly and positively they impact the people around you.SmilingHow to improve: This week, when you greet someone, try smiling more than you normally would. Think about your best friend. Think about the funniest situation you’ve ever encountered. Whatever it takes to get that smile. Notice the difference between a smile with no emotion behind it and a smile when you are thinking about your best friend doing something hilarious. Way different, right? The boring smile makes you look crazy or fake, while the other smile makes you happy. That’s what you want to do every time. EnergyHow to improve: Take whatever energy level you’re at now and add 50% more energy. Test it in small, anonymous places like at a coffee shop. See what kind of reactions you get. Then work up to using it at work and with your friends. You’ll be amazed at the difference.Talk slowerHow to improve: If you’re a fast talker, try forcing yourself to slow down by at least 50% It will feel sluggish to you but perfect for everyone else. One easy hack to help you slow down is to focus on enunciating your wordsUse your handsHow to improve: First, make a mental note of how you currently use your hands. Then test different ways of using them. Notice how the more you use your hands, the more open your body language becomes. The result: The more open your body language is, the more welcoming and confident people will think you are. Eye contactHow to improve: we have two suggestions for improving how you use eye contact:
7. Learn from the prosEver try to bake a souffle from the recipe and it turned out a dud, but watched a YouTube tutorial and aced it? Learning from the social butterflies in your social circle is pretty much the same thing. You know who they are and this is the only time we’ll give you that nod of approval to just stand around at socials and observe. Take a cue from that coworker that has a war story for every occasion. If you stick around long enough, chances are you’ll hear those stories more than once. Ramit often talks about the toolbox for interviews which allows you to skirt difficult questions with stories that you’ve memorized and tweaked accordingly. There are also story and question toolboxes to improve conversation skills. Wing it while you’re learning how to relate stories naturally. More importantly, see how successful communicators use their toolbox.
8. Ask for feedbackThis is a toughy, but a goodie, and that’s because you may need to shoulder some criticism, but all in the spirit of growth. There are different ways to approach this, according to your level of comfort. Friends and loved onesPossibly the hardest group to ask because the feedback will feel brutal. But take it in your stride and enjoy a few laughs and giggles as you work your way through their points.
Your followersIf you happen to have a following on social media, you already have a test group ready and waiting to give you feedback. Harness the resources you have to build the best social version of yourself. The bottom lineImproving your conversational skills may take a little time, especially if your idea of a good night out is watching the late-night movie by yourself so you can wear your pajamas without judgment. It will take more than a good jacket or a new pair of shoes. Your social skills depend on how well you can connect with the other person and form relationships. It’s as simple and hard as that!
It’s never too late to start building healthy habits. Download Ramit Sethi’s Ultimate Guide to Habits to get started TODAY.
Do you know your earning potential?Take my earning potential quiz and get a custom report based on your unique strengths, and discover how to start making extra money — in as little as an hour. 3 conversational skills everyone should master is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich. Via Finance http://www.rssmix.com/via Blogger http://andrewburtonb.blogspot.com/2021/10/3-conversational-skills-everyone-should.html October 18, 2021 at 09:34AM
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